How To Do Your Laundry

Ball point pen ink: If you haven't already washed the garment, don't. If you have already washed the garment (and the ink hasn't come out) but haven't machine dried it, let it drip dry to prevent the heat of the dryer from setting the ink and then proceed. If you have already machine dried it, well, just proceed and hope for the best.

Go get a can of cheap, basic hairspray. We're not talking Vidal Sassoon here, we're talking Aquanet. The kind of thing that kept Ronald Reagan's hair rock steady (not to mention rock hard) while his neck kept swaying in the breeze. Something Mrs. Brady would love. Take the dry garment (or other laundry item) and spray it all over the stained area. Lots of it. Let it dry/harden. Then wash the garment normally with a quality detergent.
Chocolate, Grass, Grease (such as from hamburger), Oil (including both cooking and automotive), Tomato (including pasta sauce): Wash the garment normally using a quality detergent with enzymes, preferably in hot water. I'm not kidding, that's all it should require.